jayluuuuxo

2O1O hibernation

2010-01-02T05:49:00.002-05:00

okay so today well, technically yesterday. i slept from 5 AM - 10 PM thats like a 17 hour hibernation :D. so i spent my whole first day of 2O1O just sleeping. now its just about almost 6 AM and i'm still wiiiidddddeee awake. i'm a bit hungry though so i'm going to eat first and then sleep some more again. vacation is almost over :l i don't like this feeling of having to wake up earlier and sleeping earlier and stupid homework and such is going to get more stressful than it already has been. ughh. and my teachers are so wackk especially dr. carroll. well the ending of 2OO9 and the beginning of 2O1O didn't seem as great as expected.. i'm a bit sad at the fact that nothing special happened for the ending and beginning :l. all i can say now is that i hope the year progresses into a better impact for me and my loved ones. ♥ .

it's so complicated nowadays, life has become extremely boring, and has no more meaning to me whatsoever.

ohmygod... i'm really horrible.

2009-12-29T01:04:00.004-05:00

:] okay so michelle already knows that steven lai is starting to annoy me. first off he keeps calling me cute although a lot of people do >_> like wanli and yanlee lol. but then he expresses it with other words like gorgeous and beautiful. though when he talks its MAAD GHETTO like, seriously ghetto. well at least thats how i see it. and i dont like that lol. he uses pick up lines like 'girl no matter what i think you're maad beautiful' and such like its nice to know but repeating it too many times. then he keeps talking to me and trying to get with me. and you know how its a bit of insane to tell someone you like them even though you dont know them and had only known them for like a few days. well thats what he did. he told me he liked me after only 2 days. i thought it was insane. how could you be like that and tell them. i mean being interested in is alright but when you tell them its a absolutely different thing.

and after that i only thought of it as aweee, but really i have no intentions to be with him. dude chill, we're just friends. and THEN what really pissed me off is that he started talking to me and about MY family. since his parents fight i told him oh mine does too its normal. he starts saying that i should deal with them and get my other family members to stop them from fighting. its not physical fighting its an agressive arguement. they dont actually like kill each other. and seriously now. you cant even deal with your own parents and you're trying to help me. get real. you don't even know me so stop acting like you do. i hate that.

and when he told me he liked me it was only 2 days of talking. he BARELY KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT ME. so you can't really say you like some one after only knowing them for 2 days. that made him seem really desperate. its like where the guy keeps saying oh i love you to every single girl he think he likes but really he doesn't like them he just likes the feeling of liking someone and knowing he has a girl and not the actual person themselves. thats what it makes me think of. like really now... after that you really think you could possible have any chance with me especially when i still ponder over the thoughts of another person.

and those poems. omfg. okay so he says hes a great poet. well i DO NOT THINK SO AT ALL. they basically sound really childish and they're just mainly the changed lyrics of a song. they don't have great grammar and its madd ghetto. all of them are rhymes that anyoneeeee could do. and after i kinda just about STOPPED talking to him after he talked about my family. he wrote poems like
"each tear represents how much i love you, as i wait for you, my heart starts to fade away n my body starts to give out,i cant believe you left me here heartbroken, this pain is killing me inside, its burning me,im in need, I began to bleed, I begin to search for answers for this curse, but as much as hard as i try, I still end up missing you."
dude you're basically saying youre desperate and you dont know me like that .
"My main mission is to show you that my love for you is not intermission,i know you're in a bad condition because he's hurting you,don't feel depress,hes not making any progress,please stop crying because your pain is my pain,i can be the one that changes your life,just give me a chance and ima show you romance,im not gonna be like him,always leaving you and making you sad,im always gonna be here for you and care so stop being despair,girl let me love you"
aha. no. SERIOUSLY hes gotta stop that. yea i told him i get depressed now and then but its no big deal. and so he goes ahead and he makes it a big deal wtf.. no, you cant change my mind that easily. and you really just about in my point of view obviously can't compare to him.
"My life starts another day without you,im sitting here crying my eyes out,lately i been feeling downhearted,as day and night fades away,im still wondering how our love went to astray,i miss the conversations we used to had like our dreams,our fears and how much we love each other"
i don't recall saying that i liked you nor did i say i love you. and i don't throw that love word around easily when i'm serious. i only say that to michelle and edalina and my family, basically when i'm playing around or saying i love you to my friends. but i never EVER said that once EVER to you. so whyd you use that word?
yea so that was like basically it . and he annoys me still. he keeps texting me although i give him like one worded answers or short answers that should hint 'i dont wanna talk to you' . and he still talks to me thinking thats hes funny he haha's or lol's at him self... GEEZ STOP TALKING TO ME, THERE WAS A REASON WHY I STOPPED REPLYING.

okay so other than him theres another guy. >_< i'm trying not to get caught up >_> but i don't think it's working. maybe boys are just too cute to resist??? :l it's really hard to not be interested... but i'll try crazily not to though if anything happens then i can't help it because. well. i just can't. ;]. sam has been texting me continuously since thursday or friday maybe. but it's all good i'm not expecting anything from anyone anymore.

so thats basically it; steven is annoying me out of my mind but i feel bad for him, bill just assassinated me and made me feel insane heartaches after i got home though i have no idea why, and sam's just really adorable but in the end i'm not expecting anything more than just that. i really don't want a relationship but i know it wont be helped. i'm fine the way i am now; trying only to hurt myself without hurting others.

ahh, i'm really sorry that i ever liked you. i'm just an insanely inhumane horrible being. & i hate myself :l .

(: winter vacation is almost hereee!

2009-12-20T01:45:00.002-05:00

:] it seems so stupid how long it's been, but i still can't let you go. now i have your tie and i just can't stop you from invading my mind. no matter how hard i try not to think about it, it always comes back.

it is now around 1:50 AM and i'm pretty darn tired, but it snowing :D yay! we're supposed to have like 4-5 inches of snow. although we will most likely still have school of course on monday.

aghh. i've been so stressed out lately. stupid school work, christmas presents and such. then theres family things and my parents are just too over rated. plus wallace. and the fact that i'll most likely have nothing to do on christmas. ughhh. it's been so lonely now a days. :l i miss being loved. it seemed so much easier when we all had someone to be there for you not as a friend but something more. it just gives you that little reason of why we want to live but then when we don't have it anymore. we hope for it, and each time its a disappointment and so we die a little bit every time.

although its been verryyyyy long since then, and i know he'll never come back. i don't plan on having anymore relationships until i really like anyone. for now, i just don't have anymore hopes and i know that no one else likes me. so i give up, i give up on relationships because i know, once it starts it's going to end badly. so i give up :l . and i definitely know i'm going to like someone or think someones hot but i can say that they'll never like me back and that when i dooo get into one. its going to just be too much stress and what not. so i just give up. for now i'll live my little life simple with out any interference and if anyone doesss like me then i'm sorry but i'm going to turn you down straight up if i really have no feelings or intentions of being with you. especially since i know i'm not going to be good enough for you nor will i ever reach to your standards.

i'm just a complete failure. i'm the mistake child.. i really am. well at least thats how i see it when i'm always compared to other kids who are better than me by far in looks, intelligence, and personality. i might as well die but if i did then you'd be mad that you wasted so much time, effort, and money on me just for me to die at such a young age. but i can't and even i can't attemp to do such things. i'm sorry that i'm not that perfet child like my brother that you've always wanted. i'm sorry that i'm really stupid and that i'm not smart enough to get all A's and B's. And i'm sorry for being so rude all the time and being so undescribably ugly, but you made me. so you can't blame absolutely everything on me nor on other people. but blame it on yourself too, that i became this way. you may think that i'm probably the worst child you have ever had and i know i am. but really? i'm the worst person or child in the whole world and that i dont appreciate you nor anything you do for me? really? do you really think that? and why is it that you always yell at me for everythinggg but yet you talk to calmly to my brother like you praise him each and every day? why is it that he is treated better than me? did i do something wrong? did i ever intend to hurt you in any way? i don't understand. no matter how hard i try and even if i try my best, i'm never good enough for you.

i've been quite depressed lately, so depressed that i could burst and explode at any moment. i'm very sensitive and take most things to heart even if its only for a joke or playing around i can understand but sometimes you have to learn to stop or else it just hurts. if you even yelled at me the slightest bit or got really mad at me or anything. i'd feel so sad, that right now, at my current state, i'd really just ridiculously burst into tears. i really just don't have much of anything but stress on my mind. i thought too much about everything this week and its just been really too hectic and chaotic for me. it just all sets me off and make me out of it. so i really don't even get how to go through with all this stress during this 'happy season'. it really isn't very happy nor cheerful at all to me. it seems more depressing, cold, and difficult for me. it just makes me feel like, i'm starting to die and decay inside..

i don't know anything anymore 2:15 AM.

paper cranes ♥

2009-12-06T12:29:00.002-05:00

why am i like this again?. why do you keep making me think every time. bogoshipda.

micheoseo<3

2009-12-02T22:28:00.002-05:00

OMO! it is now december :] winter, hot chocolate, big fuzzy sweaters, presents, ice skating, vacation, snow<3>

december is when frog pond opens and then i get to see my old friends from long ago in middle school and elementary school. mannn, the good old days. i miss them. :] oh yes, and i get to see my family more often. the cold air makes me feel at ease and at peace to relax myself from all the mess going on.

the only worst thing in life is homework and the need and desire for money. other than that, i am content.

hmm, kindergarten to nineth grade. i've known him for about ten years. now, i miss him again. i don't understand why i still do.

okay so lets see, i got stuff for michelle and edalina, my mom and brother. now i need to get a scarf for my dad [$10], and make keychains for everyone. so bill, viet, jim, henry, ricky, victoria, quynh, michelle yee, anita, abby, cindy, flora, mary, loc, johnny, jenny, sam, thomas, justin, carlton, rani, sonia, trina, melly, chris, kaitlyn, & wallace. that makes 27 so i'll make like 35 in case :] . then i have to get jack gloves [$10], lynne earmuffs [$15], meg gloves [maybe >_>] , and i'll get my three aunties, plus my mom, matching cell phone charms [$15]. i still have to spend about $50 at most. at least is about $30 or so. :P

that means: 35 keychains, scarf, gloves, earmuffs, & 4 cell charms.

wow..., i still have to get some things and it'll take a while to finish those 35 keychains. i'll start making them on the weekends :] i hope to get it all done by the time its the 22nd for edalina's birthdaaaaay then i can chillax :3 and the 24th for bill's birthdayyy :] and then christmas on the 25th <3>

HWO - AI - TING ~! [fighting!] ♥

onehourrr

2009-11-01T12:02:00.000-05:00

:] we get more sleep today <3

왜 나한테 이럴 수있어?

2009-10-31T23:31:00.002-04:00

why? of all days, you had to pick today. i hate you, but i can't stop. i hate you, for being so nice to me. i hate you, for making me not hate you. i hate you, for making me always so happy. i hate you, for making me feel nervous around you. i hate you for making me hate you.

1NE: i'm sorry to michelle today. so so very sorry. 1.) i made you guys wait super long just to go to target. 2.) i kept adding on the time. 3.) i went to target before you guys. 4.) you got your blisters to hurt worse to get to target. 5.) you got there and didn't get anything so it was all for nothing. 6.) you couldn't go trick or treating. 7.) i made you mad. 8.) you couldn't come with us to victoria's. 9.) you had to stay home for halloween of all nights. 10.) i told bill that i thought you liked viet, but you didn't want me to tell him. 11.) i'm sorry for making you even more mad than you were with my stupidity.

2WO: i'm sorry to bill for talking to loc instead of him. i'm sorry that you both called at the same time and that the second time, i talked to him instead of you :l.

3HREE: you made me feel like shit. okay, so i go to your house. i call you, you're not there so you said you'd come back quickly. it was nine at night. waiting outside for about fifteen minutes. first i was sitting on the stairs but your neighborhood is so scary. i was afraid of the drive by's and pass by's so i sat down on the floor of your porch to hide away from the public. still scared, i was shaking a little. until your little brothers went to check out the window in your room. i saw the light turn on and didn't know there were people home. so i was relieved. i went into your home without you there, waiting patiently for you to get back. meanwhile, your little brothers and i were playing super smash brothers brawl. i pwned them with luigi. then, it was nine-forty-five. you still weren't home and so you called me. i heard voices in the back, you were no where near getting home. you were still over there. so i waited and played with your brothers for forty-five minutes. just for you. and yet you didnt even get there. you absolutely forgot about me so that you could go ahead and drink and smoke carelessly. i understand that it make you feel a bit better and it kind of helps you. but you could've called and told me you weren't coming a bit earlier. you made me feel embarrased, rejected, stupid, and overall it made me feel like shit. it hurt. and while i was talking to your brothers they told me of your girlfriend... you make out with her when she eats ice. and you guys went into your brothers room. you bring me up so high but then you knock me completely down. why do you do this to me?

4OUR: halloween this year was the worst ever. it wasn't as fun as i had wished and thought of it to be. i didnt get any drinks as i had wished to. i didnt get to see my old friends. i didn't get to do much. i now feel like shit and i feel so horribly depressed.

& of all thoughts, i had to think of you. i couldn't stop it from hurting.

OHBAYBAY!SAYITAINTSO<3

2009-10-09T19:21:00.002-04:00

So it's october ninth now :P , currently like 7:23 . i am sooo bored :[ anywaaay. yesterday i was supposed to go to my dentist appointment which i did. it was at 4:00 after school and i didnt wanna go because i wanted to go with michelle, rani, edalina, and sonia to see bill le :] . anyway, i got to my dentist appointment and they said they forgot to write my name down for today and someone else filled my spot. so i have to go next thursday. OMO!??!??!!?! like seriously what the shizz. i got sooo pissed. then i called them homies and asked if they were leaving yet. they werent leaving so i was gonna go to boston common. HOW EVERR ; my dad wont let me go and told me that since i'm already home, which i wasnt, i have to stay home. i got REALLLLLY pissed, but i just listened to him and stayed home. he said it was too "late" to be going out when it was only like 3:30 ... so i stayed home for the rest of the bored out of my fuckking mind just sitting at home staring at the laptop. i was so pissed that i literally cried a whole buncha tears, because i was also bored and there was really like nothing to do. then i did extra stuff on my homework and actually cooked a few dishes. [ -- mannn, boyfraaan weaaa yooh bee ahhhht? ♥ -- ] .

well other than that, i've been REALLY hungry all the time lately. i hate these little school breakfasts and lunch . man we need a snack time and these things dont fill me up at all! i mean seriously, do you ever get full from those small muffins?! or like those bagels? or even by only one slice of pizza? AND REALLY NOW? THOSE SUPER SMALL PACKAGES OF CEREAL?! they dont fricken fill us up, why are you trying to starve us?! we obviously have a bigger stomache than a baby, so why are you feeding us by that amount?! it pisses me off so much. especially for me to have to pay $2.50 for a piece of pizza that isnt even what i want to eat but have to because that i'm so hungry. i even have to pay $1.50 for something that'll only keep me unstarved for one period. everyone says that breakfast is important, if it is then why aren't you feeding us enough?! i hate school food because of their lack of quantity.

oh yes -- i've also been going back to te same old days where i obsessively watch korean dramas after school and stuff. But not as worse :] currently watching "STYLE" and "TAKE CARE OF THE YOUNG LADY" i watch most of the korean dramas and movies on [www.mysoju.com] .

anything else ; anything else -- OH YEEA ; &&& nevermind about the chicken suit :P . i wont be it for halloween. instead, i'm going to be a panda since i still have some left over black and white fabric :] it'll be kinda like my panda bag but bigger version ♥ lol - michelle and edalina are gonna be hoboes ;] wonder how thats gonna turn out; they might make some money since they'reyoung and dressed like hoboes haaha.

OMG I FORGOT TO MENTION - okay so theres this kid jeremy :] and i think hes pretty cute but he has a girlfriend. even though i think hes cute i'm fine with staying as friends ;] don't really wanna go through the drama of a relationship just yet. like i want a boyfriend but at the same time i dont. nawww meeen?

oh &&& my birthday is in january - can't wait to turn fifteen because then i'll actually start trying to find a job. :P - I also learned that even though i didnt get a job at KKCS ; i can still always go there for the volunteer hours since i got 300 hours done already. then i can get like a lot more hours and that'll amaze people when i write up my resume :] . i should also do more other volunteer work and try to join more curiculums . hahha i signed up for so many clubs after school, but i'm always going to be in A.S.I.A. because they do a lot of things that are fun. plus they do a lot of volunteer work which would also help when i put it in my resume.

well, anyway; i really dont have much other things to say. so i'm going to clean my room . after all, i have like three spare days to do whatever and then back to that horrid school i go ; and more homework and stressss. but even though its a load of work and i hate it, i'd never ever want to go to some other school because i know going to boston latin school makes my parents happy, and plus it makes me proud to be going to BLS. this can also be a big bonus when i put it into my resume :] and people say that college is really hard, but in vls most people say that college is super easy and that high school wa harder. so i'm glad to hear that.

now i will go ahead and clean my room up. ♥ saranghaeyo -- ; pikachu.

OCTOBERIANESSERRR<3

2009-10-03T01:36:00.004-04:00

i went to ayo's party to day for her birthday and bill lee was there. he has like the most softest hair i've ever felt it was like super soft and smooth. well aside from baby hair lol. oh man, wish i had his hair >_> . hahaa sonia was feeling up his hair too x]

anyway, other than his hair. i'm still pondering overthe reason why loc did that. but since he hasnt talked to me or contacted me about it i guess i'll just have to forget it and move it away from my mind. though its so stupid.

ah whatelse happened? oh yes, i've still been feeling a bit depressed due to being uber lonely and having like no boyfraaan by my side. man, when you have a boyfraan lifes so much more fun cause then you get to go out more and they make you feel all nice inside. and they make you feel so pretty and shizzers. they make you so nervous at times though and then you're always like what am i gonna wear? but then you get used to them and they don't care about what you wear because they just liked you being comfortable around them.

man, i'm so lonely ;[ and i'm always bored of life and everything now. its so horrible.

well. yeea. its gonna be halloween soon so i better start making my chicken costume :] . gonna wear it to sleep so i wont have to change in the morning lol. its gonna be a fluffy soft chicken suit that i can sleep in. like one of the baby jumper suits LOL. yeea.

i've been pretty dowwwn lately, so its been hard. but things that keep me going are that i'm in BLS and so i shouldnt fxck it up even worse, michelle gives me a bit of strength to hold on and keep going through, and as you get older - guys get hotter and cuter haaha. mannn. i wonder how we're all gonna be in the end of high school. :/ wayyy too much drama's going to happen between peoples relationships and such.

i don't quite understand why we do the things we do anymore.

freshhhhhmen year<3

2009-09-13T01:13:00.004-04:00

so it ' s the beginning of freshmen year :] ohh babyyy . over the summer i met some new friends . they ' re pretty chill but one of them ' s an alcohol fiend . i also met this really cute girl though she ' s only a year younger than me , she ' s way more mature than me >_<; and i actually chilled with sam and jason durring the summer . it was pretty weird though , and i got to touch sam ' s girlfriend xD anyway whats happened so far on the past few days ; i hate homework and yet i got homework on the first facking day of school from dr . carroll and he didn ' t even check it -_-;; . old geezer . then i got like a quiz or something on monday for latin on like ablatives or the declensions or conjugations , idk . michelle has been upset and i ' ve realized how much of a dick her father can be; going through her privacy, invading her room when shes not home, going through her facebook , yelling at her all the time , blaming her for everything that ' s not even her fault . well , generally , being such a horrible father . then theres that thing with viet and how he ' s ignoring her and making her super upset. well since school started again , that means i get to see wallace now . every single day , in spanish ... i mean , i ' m happy that i get to see him , but it just hurts more every time that i do . i still miss him , and i really wanna talk to him but every time that i start to , i stop myself from doing it . because it just , hurts too much . oppa , bo go ship da .

SUMMER VOLUNTEERING! :]

2009-07-20T20:11:00.002-04:00

so yeah, i've been volunteering at KKCS [Kwong Kow Chinese School] it's right under ABCD. it's been about a little over a month since i've been going there. it's pretty fun, i get to take care and play with kids. in addition to that, i meet new people. its pretty close to where wallace lives so that was a plus on going volunteering there. but when ever i pass by or think about wallace it hurts even worse. i've cried so many times the past two months just over him. he doesn't understand how much i really want him. so every time i think about him i think to myself ; he doesn't care, he will never go out with me ever again, he's never going to have the same feelings as he did before, all that happened between me and him was just a complete waste of his time, he doesn't ever even wanna see or be near me again. in the end i'm still missing him. a lot.

anyway, other than that. i've been feeling a bit lonely and sad. everyone in the family has friends to chill and stuff and most of them are happy and occupied with their lives. i'm already going to be in high school. 9th grade. yet i'm not very happy. everyone in the family is separating farther and farther apart from eachother. the feelings in the past have become long gone. now all we can say is 'i wish thing were like they were in the past, when the family was closer...' . it gets me really depressed now a days to think about whats going on around me. the thought of being so lonely, the thought of everyone progressing forward and soon everyones going t be married and not have enough time for more family time. people have changed so much; brian is in college and i always miss him being at home to boost out the silence, meg is going to college and she has almost a completely different world where family isn't even close to being there, evan is just doing whatever the hell he wants and giving no shit about family but hes nice and he gives the slightest warmth, jack is still just there trying to make the family happier and successful, lynne is always there now and worrying for everything about family and friends and shes basically the best thing thats ever happened to the family. but she has alot of work and she goes to her job so she doesn't have much free time to see us, meaning the family. then theres also melly, we barely ever get to see her unless on rare occasions. she spends almost all her time studying to get a masters degree or doctors degree, and she tries really hard, she helps the family alot too. but now, i'm always just there. i'm never of any help. i'm only 14 and i can't do anything to help the family. i'm of no use to them, and no one ever needs me.

since it's now summer. i miss a lot of friends from school. i've long realized how boring life can be and i really miss the fun old days when i was younger. when life wasn't so disatisfying. now when ever i'm alone i almost always end up crying to myself, or just get depressed. then i feel so stupid for it. i cry so easily when i get yelled at or when i have a feeling of something being wrong like if someone dislikes me i get sad or if i'm left out of the group i get really depressed and think about all the things that're wrong with myself: my flaws in my personality or chracter traits.

at KKCS, theres these college students who work there and they're my 'friends' there: henry, ben, richard, brian, brandon, victor, and a 10th grader adam, plus a lot of other people. but thats not the point. the point is, when ever i hang out with them i feel so out of place like i don't belong there because they're all much older than me and they're all guys and i'm just a little girl thats just there to be there. then adam comes along, he has a girlfriend but then they broke up, and his girlfriend is cindy. he told me that she got jealous of me for talking to him. so i was like wtf? i just said hi... and so yeah. but later on they broke up over some other arguement. and out of no where, now hes always trying to hang out with me and he's a bit too touchy. when cindy came to KKCS she already thought henry was cute and so two days before the break up she and henry were always together and she called him her new "best friend" . now they're always together in contact. so when i was talking to adam i was like, so i guess cindy's the big flirt. but then he replies no i'm the big flirt. then i was like oh... and now that he's been hanging out with me so much he's always too touchy and flirty. and it gets me really uncomfortable because i'm not like that, i only wanna be his friend. he makes it seem like he wants me bad because he keeps bugging me all the time, tries to stay with me everywhere and tries to make me go home late to stay with him longer, hes always trying to hold my hand, hes always hugging me like forever when i'm giving a small goodbye hug and won't let me go home, and hes always trying to have contact with me no matter what. so just to not be so mean i'm trying to avoid him little by little. he keep trying to make me get out of KKCS at 4 although i'm supposed to leave at 6. then he's always making me go on lunch break with him. i feel bad for him but he seriously has to give me some space. like seriouslyyyyy. i'm sorry but i don't like you like that. i like wallace way more than anyone else at the moment, and i'm not really planning on changing that.

nowadays, i just wanna be single and only go out with the people that wanna go out with me that i wanna go out with. i don't wanna have another fucked up relationship with a dumbass motherfuckin' bastard like vincent. i really hated him. he is seriously the worst everrrrr; to even know such a person i am sorry for you. so yeah. it's been over a month that i haven't written anything. it's always basically the same old things; sad, depressed, feeling a bit left out, lonely, wallace... i miss him a whole bunch. but it can't be helped. so far, i've cried a lot over little things. i think i've become more serious, and the slightest itsy witsy bit more mature than usual. this life of mine is really boring me. i really dread this life, and... i don't want to go on.

everything is always bottled up inside me until i post it up on this blog for like no one to read it. its really stupid. people are always like 'wow, she smiles too much. shes always too happy and having fun.' blah blah blah. i'm such a depressed stupid little girl. i'm always the friend type of person. no one ever likes me more than just a friend. well at least those whom i do like. they only think of me as a friend. my heart has been hurting a lot lately. i'm in such a state of depression that even it can not be found or seen by others.

:] CAMERA WHORING

2009-06-02T23:05:00.006-04:00

a buncha pictures :]

As you can see o-o we are camera whores :]]] ya ya. oh man. it's already june 2nd and i haven't posted anything up at all lol. i fail at keeping up with my blogging. anywaaay. well, so far what has happened; i've been basically the only one at Kwong Kow Chinese School still volunteering. quynh tried to hook felix up with me and so i said i'd say yes if he asked me out just to see how it goes, but wilson and these other bitches keep saying that me and felix are going out even though we aren't since he didn't at all ask me out. so it's getting me pissed off about that. plus now i'm starting to want wallace more and more so thats a pretty bad thing. i think i should ask wallace out on a private day to talk everything out, although he won't care. so yeah. but i really think i should talk to him even though i don't really wanna bother him :p well i talked to loc about this and he thought it was a good idea to ask wallace out on a private day. so yeah. been getting a bit more depressed lately. :/ .

Haven't seen my michelle for a while :p hang in there mommy 'you'll get through that swine flu.' lol that rhymed. well yeah, i've been hanging out a bit less and nothings really fun anymore. it's getting boring. life's getting boring. i wanna spice it up with him, but he doesn't have the slightest clue on anything or about anything. i reaaally reaaally miss him. sometimes when i see him all i wanna do is just hold him, just for one minute when he would get these ideas and probably start liking me all over again. but that's sucha lie. i know he's not going to come back to me. i don't consider myself pretty but i know i'm not dead ugly, i know my not the smartest person but i'm smart enough to make it into B.L.S. though i'm like retarded, and i'm absolutely flat on the top and bottom :P . i'm pretty much really immature too and i'm annoying at times. i stopped smiling as much as i used to though. that's because i miss all those times back in the day. man i have no life.

i really miss him now and i think i should do something before it's too too late. xD although it's been 10 months since then and i shoulda done something then. but i didn't have the courage, so i'm gonna have to force myself into talking to him about it. love ya mommy, wish me luck. well at least near the ending of school that is xD.

ANIME BOSTONNN!

2009-05-18T21:24:00.002-04:00

Lolli lolli lollipop dalgomhage dagawa
Lolli lolli lollipop naege soksakyeojwo
Lolli lolli lollipop sanggeumhage dagawa
Lolli lolli lollipop jigeum wonhajanha

Lolli lolli lollipop Boy neon naui lollipop
Lolli lolli lollipop oh lolli pop pop

ANIME BOSTON.
woooo . it's already anime boston week :] i needa start on my chicken suit. i'm going to wear my chicken suit on friday :] so yah. unless if i don't get to finish it on time that is of course. Anime Boston is on MAY 22ND TO MAY 24TH! and then 25TH is memorial day so no school. anyway, if you wanna go to anime boston you have to bring $50 to get in for your badge for the whole weekend. unless if you're going to wait in line for like ever and spend like no hours there and basically pay to wait and be unable to go the next day. then that would be $30. However, I already pre-registered for $40 and i have my express pass. the convention is at hynes convention in copley mall. so yeah if you go to the mall you'll probably find me there in a chicken suit. I'm going all three days so I can not skip a day since i already paid $40 to get in.

well basically the only day that's free for me is tuesday because wednesday and thursday i'm going to volunteer at Kwong Kow Chinese School to help little 1st graders and 2nd graders. then on friday through sunday i'm going to anime boston :] so if you wanna come you can and we can hang around the mall a bit but i will eventually go into the convention.

since i'm going to make my chicken suit I will need to go to the fabric store near CVS and Blockbuster. the one next to the ice cream factory cake shop place thinga ma jigga and rainbow. due to the fact that i don't know how to use a sewing machine i will have to do it by hand :] and i don't want to let my mom do it because she will kill it and mess it up the way i don't want it to be. However, because of my great talentedness in arts and crafts I will definitely be able to make my chicken suit. not perfect but close to it :]. it's not going to look like an actual chicken mascot suit kinda thing. it's gonna be like a pajama thing :] lol. soft baby fabric so i can sleep in it on thursday lol.

people and maybe my teachers are going to call me weird but you know what? LOOK AT THE FREAKS WHO COST-PLAY AT THE CONVENTION!!! omg. last year i saw so many weird non-asian cost-playing people. it was sooooo weird dude. just seriously... there were some really nude people and some really big robot can dude :] i ran and attacked him from the back he almost fell LOL. he was in a large can suit it was litterally a large can made of silver fabric and you could move the arms around and make it grab things. the eyes were big too, it was like yellow with red pupils. the whole costume was over 4 feet tall and over 100 inches around. it was huge... bigger than viet and henry combined. LOL. yeah.

There was this one white girl who had really long long hair but then she cut it and used it as like a cost-play weapon. it was double her height so she had to put her hair in like a large large bun but then she ended up cutting it and using it as a handle whip. since it looked so real I asked her what it was and she was like oh it's my hair and I just freaked out. and she laughed, and I was like omg... your hair is so longgg... but now its so short. she cut her hair all the way up to her chin. it was pretty fascinating; the lengths people go to when they cost-play.

well, anyway. If you can't make it for anime boston this year you should really go next year :] and just so you don't have to pay $50 to get in, you can pre-register next year or this year before christmas or when they open the pre-registering accounts. then you can get in for like $20, $25, or $30 when pre-registering. but its $50 at the doors. so this will be my conclusion of how awesome and weird i think Anime Boston is and that you should come with me at least to copley mall :] FRIDAYYY :]. the end.

:] lalalaaa

2009-05-10T01:02:00.002-04:00

oh man. it's sunday again. well, technically it's sunday because it's passed midnight and it's 1:03 AM but i consider it saturday. hmm lets see what has happened so far. but i have a very horrible memory span so i can't really remember much of what has happened.

MONDAY - yeah. i don't remember LOL.
TUESDAY - i can't remember anyting for that day either.
WEDNESDAY - hmm. i think i went out with jim for a 2 hour one on one chat to catch up on things at galleria. the one near BLS not cambridge side galleria. ate and drank bubble tea. talked about the who and who stuff. but we were with flora, maggie, pedro, kevin, gary, david, kari, jason, michelle, and i don't remember who else.
THURSDAY - well i stayed home and didn't do any homework. so yeah i went home early that day at like 3:45 ish and spent my whole time watching boys before flowers for about 7 hours or so until i got tired and was at like episode 16 somewhere.
FRIDAY - i went to a dentist appointment and got a new set of brackets for my braces. then i went home at like 4 and spent the rest of the day until night around 12 ish just watching boys before flowers.
SATURDAY - i basically stayed home. i cleaned my room up a bit more, so now it really looks really clean but i still gotta clean it up a bit more. then i washed my bed sheets and vacuumed the whole room. even the tables and stuff and my bed board. then i wiped everything with disinfective wipes :] clorox. then i washed all my laundry and organized everything in my room. after that i ended up watching more of boys before flowers and finished the whole series before a week even finished ;] i like started on wednesday i think. then now i'm watching hello my teacher and i'm on episode 3.

--well my room finally has an A/C :] it was sold for $30 but it's still pretty good and it looks nice. i'm just affraid of any bugs or insects being created in my room or getting in my room or near me in anyway. but other than that it's pretty alright.
--i'm wearing my old mini silver hoops. the really really small ones from hong kong :].
--after watching the whole series on boys over flowers: gu jun pyo is pretty okay looking, ji hoo sunbae is a pretty miserable person; he's so lonely, yi jung sunbae is really cute lol but he can be really really cruel to ga eul even though at the end they go out, we didn't see much about song woo bin; he was just there in F4, he didn't really have a love life because he took over the family business. overall they're pretty okay. it made me cry a lot kekekee, because i felt bad for gu jun pyo and for geum jan di and basically everyone except song woo bin.
--nothings been very hectic lately. so i haven't written much or posted much of anything up a lot like i did before. it was mainly because that faggot always pissed me the fuck off and so i would vent it all out here. other than that, david still hasn't asked me out yet. i don't think he's going to ask me out though. i just have this feeling he's not going to. but when i think about it, it's so weird because i don't know how he would be if he were to be going out with me. since i don't really know him that well then i'm a bit curious. but i guess it'd be okay because i know he's a nice guy.
--it's funny because i don't really have anything else to say. and when i do have sonething to say, it's always about the boys and whats going on with the relation between me and them. but other than that i have nothing else to say except what i've been doing and where i've been going then what happened while i was there and who was there and what they did. so it's pretty boring because all the people want to really read is who likes who, who wants who, who doesn't like who, who asked who out, and stuff like that. juicy gossip. yeah i know.
--i would like a boyfriend, but i'm not that desperate to say yes to just anyone.

well anyway tomorrow or today as in sunday, it will be mother's day and so me and my cousins and my brother are getting our mothers to go eat dim sum and we're going to treat them. then we're going to buy them presents and stuff :]. we're going to each at china pearl in chinatown. then we're going to go shopping and stuff WOO! lol. i'm going to get my mom either accesories or shoes :]. well, annyeonghaseyo. ngo hoi fun gau. happy mother's day!

woo! single :]

2009-05-03T00:54:00.002-04:00

well i haven't posted anything since monday so i should update on whats been going on. so nothing happened on tuesday because i think i stayed home or something. on wednesday i went over michelles house i think. and thursday :D vincent broke up with me over the phone because i didn't contact him since monday yay! i'm single no more bitchassness from him :]. he thinks i'm pissed off and sad but i'm super duper uber happy :]. well anyway, on thursday i also stayed after school for the music night thing and got my 4 hours. as in the part of the 100 hours you need to graduate. so i'm 4 hours less. then friday i had my concert thing. which was also part of music night :] yes we BLS'ers have two nights for music night. well i'm in chorus and i'm a sopranos so i sang the high notes. :] oh and on friday victor [victor le] broke up with megan [megan chau ; my cousin]. a day right after mine. so she slept over and she went home yesterday.

i feel a bit depressed because she reminded me of the good old days when she used to sleep over my house more than that. we used to sleep over each other's houses every week. but now she barely sleeps over and i mostly sleep over her house. but its still not the same anymore. i miss those days where we had more family gatherings where everyone participated. before everyone started college and started having jobs and started on SATs and stopped caring. i miss everything so much from the past. pretty soon everyones going to get married and have children and get seperated from the close bonds we used to have when we were younger. i really miss my brother almost every time now. i really miss my grandmother and i really really miss my grandfather. it feels like everything is turning worse the more we head towards the future. i wish we could go back. in two months i'll be done with eighth grade and moving onto 9th grade. high school. why's everything moving on so fast?...

fuck my life.

2009-04-27T22:24:00.002-04:00

okay so yesterday and today i like didn't contact vincent in like anyway and stuff so he gets mad that i never call or text or say 'sorry' lmfao, yea apparently he's so 'tough and manly' that he need to be told sorry when i didn't fucking ditch him. he's still pissed off about the square one thing and stuff. like dud wtf? get over it like shit. be a fucking man. damn it, you un-pubertized little 1 incher. >;[ hmph. so heated right now. anywaaay, he sent me three texts today asking why i don't contact him and stuff but i didn't reply because i was in latin and stuff so yeah. then i was going to reply but i remembered that my mom said don't text anymore because i text alot so yeah.

so then, after school i go with michelle to her house and stay over until like 7:45 ish. during that time we went to stop and shop first to buy food for her house because theres like never anything in her fridge that is for us kids you know. so i got jello, bacon, and ground beef for sloppy joes. after that we went to make it and ate it too. then after i ate it vincent called me and was like why don't you ever call anymore? and i hear scrappy in the background calling me a 'skinny bitch who needs to eat more fucking meat.' even though i'm skinny i'm pretty fucking sure i'm not a bitch. i don't have a long tail and i don't have fur all over my body and i can stand tall through-out my whole life-span. plus either way i know i'm not a bitch.

after scrappy called me a bitch vincent laughed at it and chuckled and told them to 'stop' even though he was still laughing and chuckling. so i got so pissed off because i swear i heard him call me a bitch too. so then i got so pissed and i started to break out crying. i don't know why i cried because hes definitely not at all worth crying over but i just cried because it hurt a lot. then i kept crying and michelle mentioned that she thinks i like the more serious type of guys because i went out with wallace before and he's a pretty serious person not like strict serious, just serious. so yeah, i guess i am pretty attracted to the serious type of guys. :p i don't know, but so far i can pretty much say i most likely am.

well, after that stupid call that made me cry. michelle called him back and was like why'd you make jenny cry for? and then he was like who's this? lemme talk to 'jen' and so michelle was like her names not 'jen' it's jenny get it straight, okay? she was given a named to be called by. and so then he was like well i call her 'jen'. lemme talk to her. and michelles like no shes fucking crying right now. and her names not 'jen' it's jenny. then vincent asks to talk to me once more and i get the phone. so then vincent tries to 'apologize' to me but i wouldn't accpet it because i swear i heard him call me a bitch. so i got even more mad that he was trying to say sorry because when ever he tries to say 'sorry' he ends up making me even more pissed and shit. so yeah. then i get mad pissed and so does michelle because when ever he's on the phone with anyone he's alway talking to someone else while taling on the phone too so he makes people repeat thing which pisses me off the most because hes always like oh what? huh? and it pisses me the fuck off so badly.

while i was crying i was smiling at the same time and michelle was like you're so weird and stuff because when ever i cry or i'm sad i always smile or laugh while crying. so michelle says 'when you're crying you smile and sometimes you laugh but its a good thing because you know how to cheer yourself up when you're sad'. lol, and i only laugh while i'm crying when it really hurts a lot because while i cry i'm thinking of how silly i am to be crying. especially crying over a guy who doesn't even give the slightest bit of care about me.

then when i got home i was about to take a shower but then he called so i left the phone alone to ring and ignored his call twice one at michelles and here at home. then i finally answered after my shower and i was in my room. but then he still doesn't understand i don't have any slight bit of interest in him anymore i hate him so much now. and yet he has the nerve to try and apologize while talking to someone else whil on the phone again. like dude... seriously. and yet he says he's the most serious person here and that i'm always joking around... fuck you. and so i end up very very pissed off yet he ends up laughing while watching george lopez..

now i'm here. kind of thinking about wallace. i'm still here; i'm still heart broken.

rawrrrrrieeeees :P

2009-04-26T23:35:00.002-04:00

[22:57] meggy poo: jenny.
[22:57] JayluuuuXo: yea?
[22:58] meggy poo: did you & vincent break up?
[22:58] JayluuuuXo: no
[22:58] JayluuuuXo: why?
[22:58] meggy poo: then what's going on w. you guys?
[22:58] JayluuuuXo: idk. we're still together.
[22:58] meggy poo: you really like him?
[22:59] JayluuuuXo: i like like him
[22:59] JayluuuuXo: why?
[22:59] meggy poo: well you needa start treating him like a boyfriend.
[22:59] meggy poo: & do what girlfriends do
[22:59] meggy poo: call him & shit
[22:59] meggy poo: idk it seems like you're taking him for granted
[23:00] JayluuuuXo: o-o
[23:00] JayluuuuXo: hmm. did you talk to himtoday?
[23:00] meggy poo: i don't talk to him, i hear about it.
[23:00] JayluuuuXo: oh.
[23:00] meggy poo: if you expect him to always be there, then he'll leave sooner.
[23:01] meggy poo: he was like depressed todstya.
[23:01] JayluuuuXo: oh.
[23:02] JayluuuuXo: well he didn't wanna meet up with me yesterday. so i don't know and today mom made me go with her even though i said i wanted to stay home for homework.
[23:03] meggy poo: i heard you never call him
[23:03] JayluuuuXo: i call him sometimes but most of the time he calls me.
[23:04] meggy poo: well idk what's going on w. you guys but it seems like he's expecting more from you
[23:04] JayluuuuXo: yea.
[23:04] meggy poo: idk i wanna stay out of this
[23:04] JayluuuuXo: we live pretty damn far apart so its hard to hang out.
[23:04] meggy poo: just trying to help.
[23:05] JayluuuuXo: yea i know.
[23:05] meggy poo: my honest opinion
[23:05] meggy poo: you want it,
[23:05] meggy poo: ?
[23:06] JayluuuuXo: huh?
[23:06] JayluuuuXo: oh
[23:06] JayluuuuXo: oh
[23:06] JayluuuuXo: yea.
[23:06] JayluuuuXo: tell me.
[23:06] meggy poo: you swear on everything you won't say shit
[23:06] meggy poo: 'cause if i ever find out you told anyone
[23:06] JayluuuuXo: i swear i won't
[23:06] meggy poo: i'll be pissed off
[23:06] meggy poo: 'cause you're my cuz & i want you to know
[23:07] JayluuuuXo: k
[23:07] meggy poo: well.
[23:07] meggy poo: like i said, he was in an earlier relationship
[23:07] meggy poo: & he got over her within like . a few days or so
[23:07] meggy poo: i think that. he's using you as a rebound or w.e
[23:08] meggy poo: &
[23:08] meggy poo: DON'T mention this shit to him.
[23:08] meggy poo: just keep it in mind & be careful.
[23:08] JayluuuuXo: yea
[23:08] meggy poo: i know almost everything that goes on
[23:08] JayluuuuXo: i know.
[23:08] meggy poo: i think he's tryna have sex to impress people.
[23:09] JayluuuuXo: he keeps acting tough and stuff.
[23:09] meggy poo: i don't really like him. ever since he dated you, he acts like a dick to me just 'cause you said i was mean to you
[23:09] JayluuuuXo: like he's always pissing me off now. and i'm always pissing him off too.
[23:09] JayluuuuXo: so idk.
[23:09] meggy poo: & this is what he said to me
[23:10] meggy poo: which i thought was fucked up
[23:10] meggy poo: & why i didn't want you w. him
[23:10] meggy poo: but DON'T mention it
[23:10] JayluuuuXo: okay.
[23:10] meggy poo: 'cause it'll bring drama to me
[23:10] meggy poo: & i don't want anything to do w. this shit
[23:10] JayluuuuXo: i know.
[23:10] meggy poo: i'm serious jenny
[23:10] JayluuuuXo: yea i know.
[23:10] meggy poo: he was all saying how he had no choice to be w. you 'cause you were the only girl that wanted him pretty much
[23:11] JayluuuuXo: really?
[23:11] meggy poo: yeah..
[23:11] meggy poo: & it pisses me off how he thinks he's mad cute & can get girls
[23:11] JayluuuuXo: thats so fucked up...
[23:11] meggy poo: he said you were easy too
[23:12] JayluuuuXo: ...
[23:12] meggy poo: for a while i kept that stuff to myself 'cause you pissedme off when you said i was mean to you.
[23:12] meggy poo: even though i'm not
[23:12] JayluuuuXo: well after that vincent started being mean to you.
[23:13] JayluuuuXo: and he called you a bitch which he told me not to tell you.
[23:13] meggy poo: exactly.
[23:13] meggy poo: lol idc everyone says i'm a bitch.
[23:13] JayluuuuXo: yeah but he only said that after i said you were mean.
[23:14] meggy poo: i feel fucked up for telling you this stuff
[23:14] meggy poo: but i feel like you gotta know
[23:14] JayluuuuXo: nno no.
[23:14] JayluuuuXo: i should know this kind of stuff.
[23:14] meggy poo: i just really hope you don't tell this stuff to anyone 'cause word spreads
[23:14] JayluuuuXo: yea
[23:15] meggy poo: & if i find out that you tld anyone
[23:15] meggy poo: i'm never gunna tell you ths stuff
[23:15] JayluuuuXo: yea. i know. because then drama will start.
[23:15] meggy poo: idk to me
[23:16] meggy poo: i feel like he doesn't deserveu.
[23:16] meggy poo: but then the way you treat him
[23:16] meggy poo: you probably don't deserve him
[23:16] meggy poo: that's how i feel.
[23:16] JayluuuuXo: lol.
[23:16] JayluuuuXo: yeahhh.
[23:16] meggy poo: whatever choice you make . don't let me be the influenec
[23:17] meggy poo: don't wanna be a homewrecker
[23:17] JayluuuuXo: yep.
[23:19] meggy poo: what're you thinking now?
[23:21] JayluuuuXo: idk
[23:21] JayluuuuXo: about what's gonna happen
[23:21] meggy poo: i think..
[23:21] meggy poo: you guys aren't ready for a relationship
[23:21] meggy poo: 'cause
[23:22] meggy poo: this sucks, but. if you guys broke up he'd probably get over you quick like he did w. julia
[23:22] JayluuuuXo: well i'm pretty sure i could get over him too if we broke up.
[23:22] meggy poo: i don't want you hurt

it's definitely over now, and i'm sure i won't be too worried about his feelings to break up with him.

rawr banjjak banjjak :]

2009-04-26T00:57:00.004-04:00

first thing i should mention : david tran, if you ask me out in person, i would kindly accept . i did not "indirectly" reject you . - yea, you're persuading me into liking you.

:] alot has happened the past two days. yesterday as in friday i went to edalina wangerrrrrs house :] david , kari, michelle yee, alice, flora, edalina, michelle nguyen, and me :] yep yep. it was fun. :] .

well i can't really remember much from friday but today was a lot lol. okay so i woke up at lik 8 AM and went to chinatown at 9:30 but my mom took very long to iron her pants and get ready and such so i got to chinatown at like 10 AM. then i had to walk around to find the whole crew for BLS ASIA who was doing the boston sunshine day clean up. however, everyone was wearing the same boston sunshine day T-shirt so it was very confusing for me to try and find them. finally i run into sam chen [ASIA ex-o] and tony fun :] fun haha. anyway, he got me to one of the groups with mona huang. shes very pretty and shes a funny person :] . well we started to do a little work but we ended up giving up and just walking around chinatown. then we went to go eat at pho pasteur with darry ma and david ma which me and sam were trying to find for like an hour or so lol.

after that, i ate and called my mom. she drove me to revere beach to meet up with shelly, hien, michelle, jennifer, michael, dat, paul, ricky, and henry. we spent like 3 hours there then went home at around 6 PM but i followed jennifer and went to her house since i never went inside her house before. so i went in for about an hour because it took a very long time for us to walk up the street to her house. during that time we just watched tv and paul and ricky were playing cards. it was pretty boring and paul had to go home so we left around 8:45 or 9:00 but we ended up staying longer than expected at the train station.

i gave ricky vincent's phone number and they called vincent and paul was making it sound like i love love loved vincent more than anyone couls even though thats the absolute opposite of how i feel. i hate him so much now LOL like its not even funny. but its so not funny that it's funny. so then after that vincent called my phone and i talked to him with the speaker on so ricky and paul could hear. now, i'm going to meet up with vincent on friday with my usual crew viet, ricky, henry, jim, michelle, shelly?, michael?, idk who else is going either. but vincent might possibly immature enough to bring his , what he calls a "crew" when he doesn't know what a fricken crew even is. so yeah, anyway i'm gonna have to break up with him and my reason for that is:

"look vincent, i don't think this is working out. you obviously don't know me enough to be with me and you're a bit too immature for me. you were even ready to fight my friends, my very very close close friends whom i love the most. and i only ditched you once when i ditched my friends so many times for you. yet you still get mad and don't appreciate how much i sacrifice for you. i always have to get in trouble with my parents for going out late for you, i always have to come to you just to hang out, and yet you don't even do shit for me. you don't ever even step foot in dorchester not the slightest bit, you don't even go to downtown until i tell you to go. the only time you ever get in dorchester is when your mom dropped me off at home. my friends are the closest to me and if they don't like you and your friends don't like me then, we're not meant to be together. because our friends are the ones who define us, so i'm sorry. but it's over." [i swiftly walk away silently to my friends and we leave in a group. then we enter some where and talk about it amongst ourselves. LOL.]

well yeah thats basically the break up, but since he has a big mouth he's going to interupt me and get mad. i might not even finish my part, and i know he's definitely going to call me a bitch after that. lol, but yeah i could careless about what he thinks of me. i care more about his family and all but not him. anyway viet and ricky are probably gonna fuck him up afterwards like plan a day or something to jump him. but viet really hates this kid because he threatened to "punch in" michelle's face. which also got me pretty fuckin' pissed too.

ahh what happened tonight? har har. david finally told me himself that he liked me lol. it was funny though, ;] it made me happy lol.

PART ONE
[00:26] JayluuuuXo: am i pretty ? :]
[00:26] JayluuuuXo: loooool
[00:26] RunawaySlipperLP: Agh damn
[00:26] RunawaySlipperLP: These kinds?
[00:27] JayluuuuXo: yes these kinds
[00:27] JayluuuuXo: ahah
[00:27] RunawaySlipperLP: You'll end up getting you're way with most of em
[00:27] RunawaySlipperLP: And yes
[00:27] RunawaySlipperLP: You are
[00:27] JayluuuuXo:
[00:27] RunawaySlipperLP: I.I
[00:28] JayluuuuXo: how am i pretty?
[00:28] JayluuuuXo: LOL
[00:28] RunawaySlipperLP: T.T
[00:28] JayluuuuXo: lmfao.
[00:28] RunawaySlipperLP: I'm no good with words
[00:28] JayluuuuXo: no no no. do it :]
[00:28] JayluuuuXo: lol
[00:28] RunawaySlipperLP: So this really sucks
[00:28] RunawaySlipperLP: Lessee
[00:29] RunawaySlipperLP: I feel uncomfortable.
[00:29] JayluuuuXo: lol
[00:29] JayluuuuXo: i feel very very happy at the moment
[00:29] JayluuuuXo: hahahahaa
[00:29] RunawaySlipperLP: You should
[00:29] JayluuuuXo: LOL
[00:29] RunawaySlipperLP: Your the one that's being complimented
[00:29] RunawaySlipperLP: Lol
[00:29] JayluuuuXo: exactly
[00:29] JayluuuuXo: :]
[00:29] JayluuuuXo: now answer
[00:29] JayluuuuXo: lol
[00:30] RunawaySlipperLP: Shhh
[00:30] RunawaySlipperLP: Ahhh
[00:30] RunawaySlipperLP: Well
[00:30] RunawaySlipperLP: Damn.
[00:30] JayluuuuXo: lol
[00:30] RunawaySlipperLP: I don't know how to describe this correctly
[00:30] RunawaySlipperLP: But
[00:31] RunawaySlipperLP: Physically, I think you're pretty much perfect
[00:31] JayluuuuXo: o_o
[00:31] RunawaySlipperLP: DON'T JUDGE ME
[00:31] JayluuuuXo: what do you mean by that?
[00:31] RunawaySlipperLP: .0.
[00:32] RunawaySlipperLP: WELL
[00:32] RunawaySlipperLP: idk
[00:32] RunawaySlipperLP: I like how you look?

PART TWO
[00:52] JayluuuuXo: are you happy when you get to talk to me or hang out with me? :]
[00:53] RunawaySlipperLP: You really are too nice at times
[00:53] RunawaySlipperLP: Both
[00:53] RunawaySlipperLP: C:
[00:53] JayluuuuXo: !
[00:53] RunawaySlipperLP: So yes

PART THREE
[01:12] JayluuuuXo: wait
[01:12] JayluuuuXo: who do you like more now though?
[01:12] RunawaySlipperLP: You
[01:12] JayluuuuXo: lol
[01:12] RunawaySlipperLP: I DONT KNOW
[01:12] JayluuuuXo: stop makng me so happy
[01:13] RunawaySlipperLP: I'd I should
[01:13] JayluuuuXo: LOLOL
[01:13] RunawaySlipperLP: I do like you better
[01:13] JayluuuuXo: hmm why don't you like her more than me tho?
[01:13] RunawaySlipperLP: The I don't know was for the ask her out
[01:13] RunawaySlipperLP: I don't know
[01:13] JayluuuuXo: o-o
[01:13] JayluuuuXo: unexplanatory?
[01:14] RunawaySlipperLP: You're just...
[01:14] RunawaySlipperLP: Awesome
[01:14] RunawaySlipperLP: Yea
[01:14] RunawaySlipperLP: Unexplainable
[01:14] RunawaySlipperLP: Unexplanatory
[01:14] JayluuuuXo: hmm well that sucks...
[01:14] RunawaySlipperLP: Blahhhdodah

PART FOUR
[01:31] JayluuuuXo: i know
[01:31] JayluuuuXo: but we already know its kari
[01:31] JayluuuuXo: o-o
[01:31] RunawaySlipperLP: What do u mean by when
[01:31] RunawaySlipperLP: Dammit
[01:31] JayluuuuXo: i can tel by her status
[01:31] JayluuuuXo: like when.
[01:31] JayluuuuXo: what time?
[01:31] RunawaySlipperLP: Don't tell people pls
[01:31] JayluuuuXo: like half an hour ago or so?
[01:31] RunawaySlipperLP: LOL
[01:31] JayluuuuXo: or what?
[01:32] JayluuuuXo: oh lol.
[01:32] JayluuuuXo: you can definitely trust me
[01:32] RunawaySlipperLP: Hours ago
[01:32] JayluuuuXo: i never break a promise.
[01:32] RunawaySlipperLP: LOL
[01:32] JayluuuuXo: i swear
[01:32] JayluuuuXo: i never break a promise.
[01:32] RunawaySlipperLP: I will without you telling me to
[01:32] JayluuuuXo: unless its one of those oh promise to come tomorrow or something like that stuff
[01:33] RunawaySlipperLP: I have a big weakness for people I like
[01:33] JayluuuuXo:
[01:33] JayluuuuXo: NICEEE
[01:33] JayluuuuXo: LOL
[01:33] RunawaySlipperLP: Lol
[01:33] RunawaySlipperLP: Maybe I shouldn't have told you that
[01:34] JayluuuuXo: but i'm serious.
[01:34] JayluuuuXo: i'm probably one of the most trustworthiest person you'll ever meet in your life span
[01:34] RunawaySlipperLP: And I had to guess around to find out who it was
[01:34] RunawaySlipperLP: Yes
[01:34] RunawaySlipperLP: Because your really nice
[01:34] RunawaySlipperLP: I can already tell

yeah so david finally talks and tells me he likes me. man, no one should have told me he liked me otherwise i wouldn't have started to like him back. >:O damn you edalina and michelle ! but :] still okay because he makes me happy lol. he's such a funny kiddo. yes so now i've made up my mind. i guess i do like him back >_<>:O RAWR. man just. just fuck my life man. just fuck my life. rawr. ehh, what ever, we'll just see how it all goes :] .

tehee:3poopies. hey hey hey! he changed his font color lol!

la la lar :P

2009-04-23T23:45:00.001-04:00

i went to sleep at like 4 AM yesterday and woke up at like 8 ish today :p then i stayed in bed for like 3 hours. too many thoughts go through my head. thats why you should never have a "boyfriend" who you hate a lot, like you lost interest in. then they have to have some problems with your friends. well i'm the person that would choose friends over boys lol. but i guess vincent doesn't understand that.

today i went with my mom to go pick up my bag. FINALLY. yea, i got my bag then cathy said i should go see vincent in the other room and i did. he still thinks we're together but he's mad at me and cathy said that he might break up with me because he's just so mad at me :] yay. that would mean i don't have to say anything and be the one to be called a bitch for breaking up with him. i'm planning to break up with him like a week or more before our 2nd anniversary so that it won't make it seem like i was only nice to him to get my bag back... even though its true, LOL, but yeah. thats just messed up.

then after that, i went with my mom to go furniture shopping. woo. fun. well actually it was pretty fun xD lol. we went to like 4 different places and one of them was bob's discount furniture. there, they had a self service cafeteria WOO. but it wasn't real food it was ice cream and treats :]. i ate like half the bucket of oreo ice cream tehee :3 and took a hand full of smarties [;. we're not supposed to bring food back home with us but people do it anyway and the workers don't care anymore lol. the bad thing is that i finished most of the smarties by now and i only have like 5 more packs left :[. lol. after that we went to this very sai-bang-nga furniture place. it smelled horrible so we left within 20 minutes.

well we ended up getting home at like 5 nearing 6 so i took an hour shower. well not really. i just spent an hour in the bathroom trying to completely straighten my hair lol. now i'm currently finishing a half eaten ice cream bar that apparently some one, who doesn't know how to appreciate ice cream, didn't finish. haha, i'm talking to david tran about it too. and this is our conversation:

[00:32] JayluuuuXo: i randomly get out an orange&vanilla ice cream bar.
[00:33] JayluuuuXo: its the last one
[00:33] JayluuuuXo: but its half eaten...
[00:33] RunawaySlipperLP: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW
[00:33] RunawaySlipperLP: I hate that
[00:33] JayluuuuXo: like dudeeee!
[00:33] RunawaySlipperLP: finish the god damn ice cream bar
[00:34] RunawaySlipperLP: some people dont know how to appreciate ice cream
[00:34] JayluuuuXo: LOL
[00:34] JayluuuuXo: exactlyyyyy
[00:34] JayluuuuXo: its supposed to be for the moment not eat half and save it for later.
[00:34] RunawaySlipperLP: I know
[00:34] RunawaySlipperLP: jeez
[00:35] JayluuuuXo: lol
[00:35] JayluuuuXo: we're ranting about half eaten ice cream bars at 12:35 AM
[00:35] JayluuuuXo: LOL
[00:35] RunawaySlipperLP: Yes we are
[00:36] JayluuuuXo: lol
[00:41] JayluuuuXo: o-o
[00:41] JayluuuuXo: i wonder if theres another ice cream bar.
[00:41] RunawaySlipperLP: there better be
[00:41] JayluuuuXo: m brother hides it in different areas in the fridge :]
[00:41] RunawaySlipperLP: after that person brutally abused that first one
[00:41] RunawaySlipperLP: poor thing
[00:41] JayluuuuXo: LOLOLO

so yeah, now it is currently 12:44 AM and the conversation is still going on. lol, i'm gonna go check to see if theres another ice cream bar xD. result : [3 minutes later] I FOUND SOME :D woo! lol. i feel cool now LOL. currently listening to gee by snsd :] banjjak banjjak ♥ finished the ice cream bar with in 5 minutes :]. it was very good.

i really have like nothing to say for today. oh, but tomorrow i'm going over edalina wangstersss house :] woo! lol. it's gonna be a nice day around 70 degrees out :] so yep yep tehee :3.

wallace wang :] i really really really miss you so so much. i "got it bad."

lala pomfg :] goodbyebye vincent [:

2009-04-22T19:42:00.004-04:00

today, i was supposed to go with viet, jim, & michelle to go meet up with vincent at square one mall and all because they never met vincent before. so we go to malden center and take the 430 but then i guess after we got on it changed to be the 411. so we spent like an hour on the bus. during that time, we realized it was the 411 so i called vincent and was like it supposed to be the 430 right and he was like yea. so we stayed on the bus. then we were getting near revere beach so i called vincent again. then he was like fuck i'm so mad blah blah blah and i got so pissed because then i was like wtf? how are you fuckin' mad? i'm the one on the bus with my friends. that got me so fuckin' pissed.

then jim took the phone and was like dude just come pick us up at malden center and shit. he had his hand in his left hip while laying down on three seats in the back of the bus with us and he looked so funny. then michelle got the phone and was like why can't you just come pick us up at malden center? and he was like because i can't... and so viet took the phone and you know viet, he jokes around alot. so viet was like just pick us up at malden center, and he called vincent a faggot and stuff. then when viet hung up the phone he was like this kid is mad annoying whats with his voice. so i was like well i told you you'll hate him, and he was like why, and i was like because i do and we all laughed. then he was like well you're like friends with the whole world so if you hate him then obviously we'll all hate him too. lol. so we made fun of him and stuff and miche & jim said his voice was like carltons. i was like well he doesn't have a "grown-up" voice yet and so like yea.

so then we got off the bus near revere beach and we went to eat :] woo. it was like two something now lol. so we went to eat, there vincent called me but his friends were talking and stuff too and trying to start shit. so since they didn't know viet, they had a crew of twelve people ready to like fight with viet and stuff. but then since vincent was thirteen we all assumed that they would be like twelve and thirteen year olds and viet is like three years older than them so it would be like a rep downgrade if he fought with little kids. even if he did fight with them, we would have hien, kiet, lan, theo, and all of them and they will fuck you up so yeah. especially ricky haha oh shit. lol. so yeah. then after that, they called us and was like where are you right now and i was like near revere beach eating. then after we ate, we went to wonderland, WOO! and took the train back to downtown. lol, vincent and his little friends were waiting for us at malden center. dumbasses. then he called and then i was like oh, we're on the train to downtown now and he was like omg really? you coulda told us so that we wouldn't have to wait. and through out the whole train ride they kept calling us and talkin' shit. but viet didn't wanna fight little kids, so he just let it go because it was just so funny to imagine them against us. lol.

there was this one black kid who couldn't stop sayin' nigga while talkin' slang and stuff so viet was like, dude chill for a second stop callin' me a nigger because i find that really offensive since i have black friends too. then viet hung up on the phone and we all laughed because then viet made fun of the kid sayin' nigga lmfao. so then we hung out around downtown and then we went home :]. i went to michelle's house and hung out for like three hours and cathy texted me. she said that vincent was mad at me and so then i got mad pissed because i was like, wtf? i should be the one mad. so then i got even more pissed. but it was like a happy kind of pissed i don't know how to explain it but yeah.

i hate how vincent is so immature. hes so fuckin' annoying and irritating and i just fuckin' hate him like pomfg. yeah, i lost quick interest in him lol. well i didn't really like him to begin with since hes opened up to me even more and stuff. hes one of those kids you just wanna punch in the face. ughhh. and he always calls like every girl a bitch. he called his ex girlfriend a bitch for breaking up with him because he got jealous too easily. but its so freakin' true like not even kidding, if you read my texts when michelle was talking with him and saying that i was hers and hers only he said he'd punch her face in. he also ALWAYS says hes gonna fight people and shit but he never ever ever everrr does shit. like he's so fuckin' stupid and retarded and fuckin' immature as shit. he pisses me off so much. hes so horrible that i would consider xiang over him. like thats how bad it is. lol. yeah.

well anyway, he's gonna be callin' me a bitch next because i will become one of his ex's. my excuse? "well sorry but we can't go out anymore because apparently if you and my "daddy" (viet) have problems with each other then i can't go out with you because my friends haven't met you yet and they already hate you. which is a sign that i have to choose either my friends or my boyfriend and so i have to go with my friends. sorry, but its over." so yeah, its gonna go pretty damn horribly and he's probably gonna tell everyone i'm a bitch because he doesn't have me anymore. so yeah, tehee :] at least i don't have to be so mad anymore and i don't have to fuckin' ditch my friends for him anymore :] woo no more madness! lol yep yep. so i'm pretty much pretty happy now. i'm just affraid of the results and how he'll take it.

:] for now i'll just be hanging out with my homie fries [: tomorrow is THURSDAY and so i'll be going to meg's house to get my bag then i'm coming back home. maybe i'll go to viets and meet up with viet and michelle but apparently i shouldn't because i should let them have some time aloneee ;] kekeke. well yea, lol. :] count how many times i said pissed | how many times i swore | & how many times i've laughed today in this post. lol.

oh yeah :] i found out how to spell alicia's name today :] alicia pham ! i love herrr ♥

vincent ; lol, fuck you :] it's over because you gots beef with my muthafuckin' oval.

VACATION AGENDAAA ! [:

2009-04-21T20:44:00.002-04:00

well its still vacation and so far i'm booked for the whole week except thursday and sunday :P this sucks ass. too much to do.

WEDNESDAY; go out with vincent to the square one mall wiht his crew. after that i go to my aunt [may yee] ' s house and sleep over to get my backpack which i was supposed to get on monday but stupid victor had no common sense to leave the bag at may yee's so he brought it to six flags with him and i had to wait until now to get it on wednesday night.

THURSDAY; i have absolutely no plans but i can probably go to viets with michelle. but i should give them some alone time so then that'll give me time to study and do some of my homework. most importantly pick out my declamation because i have to declame on monday. i'm going 3rd at R7 :] .

FRIDAY; going over to edalina wangerrrrrs house :] i haven't been there in a pretty long time so its good that me and alot of other people are going. lol. but then david will be there and he's weird. he likes me too. so it's awkward because i know he likes me which makes it more awkward since i'm taken by vincent and all. though he doesn't know i'm taken. which is even worse. lol.

SATURDAY; i have to wake up at like 8 and be at chinatown at the sovereign place at nine to help A.S.I.A. in their boston sunshine day from nine to one. then after that, i'll call up shelly and go with her to the beach :] . man i love the beach alot especially in the summer. WOO! summer is almost here :]♥

SUNDAY; study my declamation and study for a history quiz test [quest] while i'm out with my mom and the fam like how it is every single sunday.

so as you can see, my whole vacation is booked lol. well except today, thursday, and sunday. but i can still call that booked.

today, i stayed home all day and called viet a mother fucking oval [M.F.O.] lol. and surprisingly my mom just bitched at me about where my bag is lmfao even though she knows where it is and that i can't get it yet until tomorrow night. well, i am currently bored here typing this up while eating tangerines that my mom peeled for me :] because she knows i love fruits & ice cream at night. so far everyone keeps calling me fat just because i eat alot but its a good thing since i need to eat more but i have a very fast metabolism so its pretty bad that i have that.

tomorrow is wednesday which means i go to the mall and get my bag too :] woo happy day lol. while i'm at the mall i should get myself some hoop earings too haha. yesterday, i was over michelles and i tried on her hoop earings in one of my ears and it made me look so girly. it was really funny though because i'm usually not classified as girly at all. and so yeah. but i like hoop earings so i shall get black ones, purple ones, white ones, silver ones, gold ones, blue ones, yellow ones, and hmm yeah thats it. i might get myself some black clips too :P just for the heck of it. and i needa go to galleria next time and get my blue nail polish from sephora. :] i like the pretty blue there lol. damn it, i'm at my last slice of tangerine ;[ fare well tangerine. yeah i devoured it in like a second. lol. if you're michelle and you're reading this then you're either agreeing or snickering. lol. sorry that i can't go over to your house tomorrow to make cake but i'll make it up to you :] because you know you love me. lol.

thats basically all i have to post up for today lol. stay on my blog if you like the music theres 25 songs to be played and then it loops again :] ain't that nice? well half of the music is by stevie hoang because michelle and edalina were talking about his music yesterday and i was listening to his music along with them. so i decided to put it up because his music just goes with the flow and its nice and all :]. well goodbyebye.

w ; waht happened? i didn't change. i'm the same, but you changed. why don't you like me anymore? because i still miss you. i still need you. and i will always forgive you and want you. but why can't you want me too? i miss you. if you were to come back to me, i'd absolutely accept you. because even though i tried to forget about you by getting with vl it didn't completely work. and i can absolutely say that i like you more than vl, because you were the best boyfriend i ever had. i don't care if you considered me your girlfriend or not because i know you liked me the way i liked you and thats all i needed. i just needed you to like me the way i liked you and i didn't care of anything else because i don't need anything else from you but for you to come back to me. i miss you.
d ; sorry but i'm taken , and even though i'm planning on changing that. i still don't like you that way and i still would miss ww.
v ; i don't think we can go on any longer. its all your fault for starting it in the first place. then you had to like me so much and i'm someone who can't stand to hurt someone else. i'm sorry but, i lost interest in you.

LOVE LOVE LOVE ADORABLE ALYSIAAA♥

2009-04-20T23:34:00.004-04:00

well i guess i'm not gonna be finishing up the undefined because i'm too much of a damned lazyass to be doin' that shittt. instead i shall talk about my life right? because well this is a blog and i should blog about my own life to you all. even though almost no one reads this blog and no one really actually knows of it. lol, anyway, moving onto today :]

VICTORIA TRAN'S HOUSE!
green house in ashmont on ashmont street across from ivy ngo's house :] was where i was today. it was a very fun day. i went to sleep around like 3 AM the night before and woke up at like 7 AM then went back to sleep and kept waking up every hour so i decided to get up at like 12 PM lmfaoo. after i woke up i got dressed, brushed my teeth, put on my 'famous stars and stripes' earing along with my star chain, ate some food plus ice cream ♥, then headed out to pick up YanLi at the fields corner train station. it was funny because i told her to go to her left after she got out of the train station but she got out to her right and went half way down. then i called her because i noticed she wasn't coming so i told her she was probably going the wrong way and she was. so she had to walk all the way back and down the other way :] . silly silly kids right? well we are all a little silly sometimes.

after me and my mom picked up YanLi she drove us to victoria's house on ashmont street but my mom kept thinking you have to change to a different street while you're on ashmont street. so she turned into another street and i'm like i don't think so mom and me and YanLi kept laughing. then my mom turned back onto ashmont street and went all the way down and then she was like ohh. lmfaoo. my mom's funny at times. after that we went into victoria's house and mimi, her dog, was barking even though she was locked up in the bathroom. that dog is vicious.

as we were in her house her little cousin, alysia or how do you spell it, was over. i've been dying to meet her since last year because she is so cute and adorable and smart and so OMFG :] you just gotta love her x]. well anyway, when i realized it was her there i started freakin' out and i hugged her the whole time that i was over victoria's house lol. he seemed kind of affraid of me since i said i was going to stalk her home. she goes to the murphy on the 3rd floor, lives at 28 grand street in JFK, and shes 10 years old ♥ she is uberly adorable. lol. x] love love love alysia.

oh and while we were there, i found bacon and decided that we should eat it. so me and michelle made the bacon :] marissa kept saying that we were going to kill ourselves lol. i stole 6 pieces of bacon before anyone else got any then i got bacon suspension lmfao. we made 2 batches of bacon for everyone there ; alysia, victoria, michelle, edalina, gabby, yanli, marissa, vina, vy, and me :] . it was beautifulllll! not really, but i love bacon because i'm a bacon ninja so i can't help it. lolll.

after that, everyone started to have to leave so everyone left. then me, miche, and eddie went to miche's house :] and chilled till like 10:30 ish. on the way to her house we went to stop and shop to get some food. i picked out the sloppy joe stuff and a bottle of fizzy orange pop :] and i didn't read the can. so when we got home miche read the can and said that we needed to buy some grind beef and i was like :O! OMFG REALLY?!?! I DIDN'T KNOW THAT! and i got dissapointed because they didn't have grind beef and we didn't wanna go all the way back to stop and shop to get it. so instead we ate the beefaroni that i bought last time i was here. after that, we went to fix up eddies 15$ messed up hair cut, i was the one who fixed up her bangs and that was it. then we went into miche's room and talked and chilled. we watched disney channel tehee :3 . and talked about stuff like boys, boyfriends, who likes who, people we miss, and such and so.

then it was the end of the night for us because eddie's dad came to pick me and her up and dropped me off at home. so thats how i ended up here, eat boba :] while wearing a BLS 'stand up' T-Shirt and some green no-feet leggings. man, i have no life lol.

well for tuesday i have nothing to do i guess, then wednesday i don't know but i'm going to meg's house to sleep over and get my back pack that victor was fuckin' dumb enough not have some common sense to leave at meg's house in the first place, then thursday i'm not sure but i think i'm going with shelly to the beach, well friday i'm going over to eddie's :], and saturday i think this is supposed to be when i go to the beach with shelly or is it thursday, and sunday is just a day for me to either chill or go with the fam. like we do every week. however, i seriously gotta study for history quest and ela declamation xp.

--x lalala. why does it all have to be so fuckass complicated?

LALA♥

2009-04-20T01:43:00.002-04:00

wow. i suck at writing up stories. man, but i got better now. lol. i was worse back then. i shall make up a new story :] and so i begin:

the undefined

death is brewing up, the names have been pricked. prince and his minion head out and announce to the people.

haha to be continued because it is currently 2:00 AM and I am dead tired. I just wanted to write something for the blog since its been a while :] so I shall continue this whenever i get back. thank you.

oh yeah, today [april 20th] i'm going to my friend's house just for chillin' and yesterday [april 19th] was my wifey MICHELLE NGUYEN's birthday. happy birthday mommy :]. also, friday [april 17th] was my one month anniversary with vincent le :]. however, april 19th which was yesterday was my grandmothers one month death anniversary. so sarang hae yo halmuhni. on the bright side, the week is going to be fun other than yesterday.

new boyfraaand

2009-04-13T22:40:00.005-04:00

well it's been a while since i've posted anything up. about 14 months i'd say lol. i finally fixed up my page and got a new picture taken. just so you knowww, i now have a new boyfriend. his name is vincent le :] he is currently 13 yeah hes half a year younger than me but he'll be turning 14 on june 6th. he goes to stone ham middle and lives all the freakin' way in stoughton or however you spell it. so you see the problem here. i live in boston all the way in dorchester while he lives in stoughton. yeah pretty much you can call it a long distance relationship. i met him on pi day; 3.14.09 when my cousin asked me to sleep over and asked if i wanted to go to play manhunt at castle island with her friends. so i went and we basically did nothing but stay at the park and play tag and then walk around the castle. after that my cousin wanted to sleep over victors', her boyfriend's house. so i tagged along and slept over too. then some how me and vincent just got together. now its 4 more days until our one month anniversary. he really likes me and he's crazy enough to get a job just to get me something. i don't even know what it is yet but i think he's getting it for me for our anni. well anyway, he's great and all but he's really immature. the first time i met him, he was so so sooooo mature but now that we've got to known each other more, he became so immature. in addition to that he's always trying to force me into saying "i love you" but i always tell him he shouldn't be saying it so easily and throwing it around like that.

when ever we're on the phone with eachother, he always says i miss you which i accept to say the same. however, he then says , "i love you" and i reply "oh, that's nice" then he gets mad at me for not saying i love you back. Last night, was our biggest arguement and yet it was about him saying i love you wrecklessly and me not saying it back in reply. after that, i thought to myself: why is he always trying to force me into doing something? why is he always trying to step it up? it's only our first month and yet he's already thinking about sexand all that shit. i started to get very angry and upset. then at that moment i decided: I DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP AND I DON'T NEED IT. and yet, i can't stop it because vincent is already so deep in liking me and i can't stand to hurt him. and whenever i'm with him, i always want him more so i can't do anything about this damned relationship. i want to end it but i can't and at the same time i don't want it to end. how complicated is that? i feel bad for those who have this same relationship problem because its truly a hassle to even like someone. but for me, i'll stick with him until my liking of him dies off. if he can grow up and be understanding and patient then we're set.

wow, i've typed a whole lot. i applaud to you if you have read this whole and clear, you are truly amazing and you have absolutely no life because you have to read about mine. lol. naw, i'm just kidding, i do that too lmaoo.

2008-02-14T21:52:00.004-05:00

First Impression. by Jenny Luu

“Oh my god, so many boxes to fill up, but I have so many things.” I’ve just started packing up for my first year in Echo Community College. I can not even comprehend my excitement of being Lynnia Pele, the student that is going to Echo Community College on a scholarship. “I’m so jealous of you, but proud that you’ve made it in. The only thing I know about it is that college is one of the top three colleges in Lettar. Only the great geniuses can get in!” Said Saphilia, her voice indicating the proud ness of the moment “Yeah, I bet you the test was way hard, but you’re such a smarty-pants you didn’t even have to pay for getting to that college.” Christine envied “Well duh, I’ve studied so hard, I deserve it. Anyways, I told you guys to study too. So you’d get into Echo with me, buy no, you guys had to go out with your boyfriends.”
Well, I should start introducing myself. As you now know, I am Lynnia Pele and attending college at Echo Community College on a scholarship. This means I am eighteen and worked very hard to get to where I am now. My two most loyal friends are Christine Lainell and Saphilia Charmaine. Today, I’m packing up to move into my new den on campus. I am intensely excited and hope for a special first day. Christine and Saphilia already have a boyfriend, but in this group I don’t. The only guys who have asked me out were conceited, annoying, and obnoxious. They only wanted me to show off to their friends and compliment me on my appearance, if you understand the concept of what I mean. So I’m hoping to meet someone new, get a fresh start in Echo Community College. Meet someone with in-expectancy and unpredictably loves and shows it at anytime. I hope to find someone to catch my attention on the first impression.
I finally finished packing and started heading for Echo Community College. The only item I had by my side was a medium sized bag. A bag not too small and not too big, but a perfect fit for one travel sized journal, two pens, one pencil, one cell phone with a charger, and a few other convenient portable electronics to keep me occupied through the ride. The ride took a long while but I finally arrived. On the first step I took after many hours of sitting, I nearly collapsed. On the second step, I tripped, though something prevented me from falling flat on my face. I turned around after I got back into my position of walking and saw a guy smiling at me in his success of the prevention. “Thanks, my names Lynnia Pele.” I said this gratefully, and we both smiled at each other. “You’re welcome, my names Emmett Sappel. Are you new here?” He said this in a very friendly voice, as if he knew me all my life. “Yeah, I just got here and I’m dying to run around and explore the campus and all about.” I said so energetically, my voice sounding as if I were a young child at the ages of ten and younger. He brought me into campus and chuckled at my childish voice.
The campus was tremendously large and filled with students in groups, pairs, and individuals. They all seemed to be focused on their studies or socializing. There were various amounts of tables, so I sat in the one in front of me. To my surprise, Emmett seemed very familiar, as if I’d already met him a long while ago. “No way, you can’t be him.” I gasped and made a shocked face towards him in disbelief, he replied “Yes Lynnia, I am. I can’t believe you didn’t remember me until now. After all these years Lynnia, you’ve really forgotten about me haven’t you?” Before Emmett could say anything else, I gave him a bear hug. The one I always gave him everyday in elementary school, and I knew he’d recognize that hug from anyone. Now I remembered Emmett, he was my best friend in kindergarten and I had a childish liking to him. So I always talked to him and our parents were close friends too, and sometimes he had permission to stay over. Now he has physically grown a lot, but I’m not too sure about his maturity. For now, I’d say he has matured very outstandingly, even as a child he was mature and knew how to take care of me. That was my first day on campus and Emmett guided me everywhere. We were coincidentally assigned the same classes, so I’d follow him as if we were in elementary school again and everyone stared.
A few weeks have passed and Emmett has been talking to me everyday, he slept over very often and was always my company, for I had no room mate. Tonight was another night he was going to stay over for a chat. I thought it would be like all the other nights he had stayed over, but I was absolutely wrong. We were talking about all the times he slept over my house when we were young and in elementary school. At one point, deep into the night, he mentioned about my sleep-talking. “One night, when I stayed over at your house. I heard you sleep-talking; you whispered my name many times until it started fading. Then it became silent again.” What he said had shocked me, I hope he didn’t figure out I still liked him. “Then you paused and I heard you whisper ‘Emmett, I do’ I remembered people only saying ‘I do’ in weddings as a vow of love until death. So I replied, and to confess to you now…” He paused struggling to find the right words and striving to say them aloud. The tension in the atmosphere arose within me as he finally spoke “I… I... I still like you, ever since we were children and were best friends. I thought you were the cutest and smartest with the best smiles any one had ever seen. I… I still like you Lynnia…” After these words had gotten out of him, there was an awkward silence between us and we were both quiet for a long while.
Then he took my hand and put a charm bracelet on my. The bracelet only had one star engraved ‘LP’. I whispered in more disbelief “You remembered.” This bracelet was my most favorite bracelet and I lost it on my way home, Emmett was walking with me. We spent the whole day looking for it but we couldn’t find it, so I gave up and we went home. My bracelet was never found again by anyone anywhere. I got so excited; I jumped onto Emmett intentionally to give him a thankful hug, but then mistakenly touched our lips. I turned crimson and looked away while getting up. Before I could fully stand, Emmett pulled me down and purposely touched out lips for the second time. Then we stayed sitting next to each other and watched the sun rise, once again in deep silence.
Throughout my childhood with Emmett, I’ve finally noticed something utterly important. Emmett was the first to talk to me everyday. He always took care of me and was the most trustworthy and unpredictably caring. He was someone with a name that was not to be forgotten. If you were to describe Emmett’s personality, it would result in being one of the most loving and loyal friends. To me, most importantly, he got my attention with his first impression and that was all it took for him to have me.

2008-02-10T16:43:00.004-05:00

PSHHAAA<3; story ="]<333">.The Awaiting

Whether if he likes me or not, it does not change my feelings for him. But i for one will never give up, I will always wait.
She arrives at the park, waiting for him, sitting on the swing. About to give up waiting, she finally tears up and sits there sobbing. Moments later, he arrives and sees her tears drop down from her face. He shifts closer to her and held her a hands. She did not notice he was there till she had stopped tearing.
Don't cry, you're too much of a pure-hearted person to cry...
He held her close to him, giving her warmth. For it was very cool outside, it was one of the coldest days of that week. She held onto him as if she were a little girl, not wanting to leave her parent's side. Struggling to speak she finally stops her tears.
I've waited so very long, I wanted you....
I apologize for my absence..
At that moment, He lifts up her face and their lips touch in the most incomprehensible way. They stay there at the park with each other for the rest of the day and night. In the end, he walks her home and takes care of her. She then smiles for once during that day. In the end, his feelings were the same for her. He truly completes her.

2008-02-09T17:38:00.004-05:00

FOREWORD

I sit here think of him, having a day dream while gazing upon him in the silence of the library. I stared at him though watching his every movement. I dozed off and realized I was in a dream where am i? i wondered to my self and figured i was but nowhere. I looked around only to find a trail of wonderful paintings that seemed familiar. I followed this trail collecting each piece of painting only to arrive in front of him. He looked down to me and I turned crimson. Drifting closer to me he held out his hands and lifted my face, making me look up to him. Suddenly i absolutely knew what was about to happen. At that moment I awaken to the presence of his firm lips against mine. I looked at him appalled of what I've just seen him do. Then, after a moment, I realized that the whole time I was staring at him before i dozed off, he'd also been staring back at me...

-jenny luu
[p.s. if you'd like to read more of my story "Emmett of All.", i'll be posting it up every week or when i'm available to do so. first chapter starts next week]

2008-01-14T17:10:00.001-05:00

It 'tis my birthday today , though i should have a party i am not. today was horrible, there was a very large snow storm. so that had made me have to reschedule my birthday hangout with my friends. now i am bored to death and have no one to accompany me. i feel so very disappointed even my family of cousins and aunts and uncles did not come to celebrate my birthday. you'd at least expect that a realative would've came to celebrate, but there was none. now i am here at home with nothing to, want to go out and have some fun. it is now still snowing and i am eating my food. soon i will have my cake and no one else is here to see me blow out the candles. if my wish could come true, i wish for my brithday to have many of my friends' accompany and we'd have a snow ball fight. ♥

2008-01-13T13:31:00.004-05:00

BAI SUN
today, my family is praying for my great grandparents and my great great grandparents. we lay food out on a table in front of their praying place where there are portraits of them. then we put in insents sticks and we have to go on our knees and bow down 3 times. then after the insent sticks are done lighting and are all out we take the food on the table and eat it :]. the family has to bring a share and help out to make the food so there is plenty for the large family. well i'll post some pictures up in a while :]. my little cousin is over so you will see much entertain ment from his little body o_o he runs around the house like lightning and bites like a ninja :D. i am ninja, you are ninja, we are ninja too. lol, anyways... tomorrow is my birthday and i hope everyone comes if they are able to, because i heard that there is going to be a very large and massive snow storm so i am afraid i wont be able to see all of my buddies. but i will probably see them today hopefully.
Woot , go bai sun~! :D

SOUTH SHORE~!
i went to south shore today with my buddy carolyn :D she invited here friend tara lol. we mostly just walked around and looked at stuff. we only bought food, candy, and i got happy feet :]. andy said he probably saw me there but he wasn't sure -_-;; damn loser. the least he could've done was g up to me and ask me. now i'll never actually be able to say we are of friends that've met eachother in real life. damn loser, got me so very disapointed in myself for not seeing him :/ oh well. what happened has happened so yeah. happy birthday to me tomorrow :D~!

2008-01-12T23:40:00.003-05:00

hello my fellow site viewers. i am jenny luu && welcome to my new blog :]